Sleep. It’s eluded me for weeks now. Even with my melatonin, I’m lucky to get more than a few hours a night. Some nights, I haven’t gotten any. It seems as if my body finally had enough insomnia though…
I slept last night! And today. Naps are wonderful things. The problem is, now I’m dragging my butt. I’m so sleepy still! I just don’t get it. Oh well.
I have started my musings on immortality in a word document. Between sleep, homework, and attempting to actually spend time with the offspring and boyfriend who have been so patient with me being nose deep in homework, I’ve only had a few moments here and there to write. As soon as it’s complete, it will be posted. Just didn’t want you guys to think I had forgotten.
Today, aside from being sleepy, I’m very anxious. I’m also short tempered and grumpy as hell. I wish the so called “happy pills” I take actually worked that way. One of my kiddos is sick and I’m doing a good job attending to their needs, but I’ll be damned if the whining of this poor sick kid it’s making my skin crawl right now. I feel horrible that I’m reacting this way and have done everything in my power to change my mindset (or whatever) but it’s just not working. I’m normally a doting mom when one of them gets sick, attending to them in every way and feeling bad that they feel so sick. Today, I’m doing what I need to and just wishing they weren’t sick… but for all the wrong reasons. I feel so stupid and selfish. Hopefully I can shake this soon. The rest of them will be home shortly and something tells me I’m not going to be so pleasant if my mood doesn’t change. They shouldn’t have to suffer. It’s not there fault that mom’s sick too.