Two Down…

WHY CAN”T I WRITE?

I can’t write anything. Not homework. Not my blog. Not my book. Not even a damned text message. I feel like my soul has been sucked right out of me. Five times, I’ve sat down to do serious writing. Five times, all I could do was write about how stressed, upset, and overwhelmed I am. Most of it ended up like gibberish, with me blubbering as I typed away at the keys. This isn’t writers block. This is something much worse.

I had to drop two of my classes due to this crap. Philosophy and Creative Writing. Two classes I REALLY enjoyed. Now, I’m hanging by a thread in my other classes, with my family obligations threatening to snap that thread before my eyes. It’s killing me.

There are two sides to me, it seems. The mothering side who wants to be everything for everyone, conquering all obstacles we come across. Then, there’s the selfish side who wants nothing more than to run and hide from it all, doing nothing more than what my little heart desires.

UGH!

I know what I need to do and I’m doing it, but I still want to hide my head in the sand until this all blows over.

Sometimes I hate being me.

Advertisements

One thought on “Two Down…

  1. Hello BP, tough times in the inner landscape, eh? Can you believe that there are actually people out there that never struggle with this shit? Maybe not. Anyway. Just wanted to let you know, you are not alone in that world, I am there with you. hugs

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s