The Chaos Continues

Almost midnight. My insides are all mixed up, turned upside down on themselves. These past weeks have been as crazy as the ones before. It seems out never slows down these days. The chaos never ends.

Doctors are pretty useless these days. In my case and my daughter’s. I keep trying to get a hold of my psychiatrist, leaving messages and never getting a return call. Maybe I should stop calling at midnight and deal with it during office hours, but I can never remember. Then, a whole slew of doctors still don’t know what’s wrong with my kid and she’s getting worse. I’m lost beyond lost.

The rest of my children seem to think that it’s a good time to act up and get in trouble. One is so sassy that I’ve been getting reports from school saying they’re having major issues there too.

School it’s barely hanging on by a thread. I’m still in two classes, but even that’s proving to be a struggle. I’ve decided to take a break from the English degree for a year while I get my massage therapy licence. It will be nice to make some money while going to school.

All in all, I can safely say I’m not sure how I haven’t lost it yet. I’m close to it, especially these past few days. I can feel the anger building up inside me. When I’m not angry, I’m depressed. Seems I’m always on the verge of tears these days. My thoughts are racing and all I can seem to think is negatively. This is the most wicked mixed episode I’ve had in a long while. I just hope I can keep it together through this…

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4 thoughts on “The Chaos Continues

  1. Hi, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but have you looked into if you are an Empath? They often display those very symptoms that you’ve described. Also, long term shock and trauma, which you have not dealt with, and set aside so you can look after others will cause you to feel that way, too.

    Either way, if either of those fit you, there are things you can to to heal form it.

    Thanks for your time.

  2. I have PTSD and these last few weeks have been hell for me too. The mind racing and being on the verge of tears plus not being able to sleep more than 3 hours at a time. Hang in there!

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