It’s 3 am, I Must be Lonely

Today (well yesterday actually) was a busy day. I spent last night in the ER with my boyfriend and didn’t get to sleep until 5 am yet I still managed to help the middle girls clean their pigsty of a room, run errands, start packing for vacation, take a nap and go to game night with some friends. I should be out like a light right now. Only I’m not.

Even after developing a killer headache that turned into a migraine, I still haven’t found sleep. I got home, took some meds for the headache, covered my eyes, put ear plugs in, and prepared myself for dream land. I’m pretty sure it’s further away now than it was when I got home.

It’s so frustrating to be exhausted and unable to sleep. I was over emotional today. I cried 4 times for no reason whatsoever. Everything is starting to run together, my fuse is getting shorter and reality seems… a bit unreal.

It’s been more than a week now of averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night. I haven’t used my melatonin lately because I usually don’t think of it until it’s too late. I’d give one of my toes right now for a good night’s rest. Tomorrow, I’m going to drug myself before I even lay in bed. Maybe then I can get some good sleep.

As always, I’ve been trying to analyze why I might be having this issue. I know part of it is the upcoming vacation. There’s a lot to do in the next week, so there’s no doubt that the stress from that is affecting me.

There are other things stressing me out. My boyfriend’s been having health concerns and is going to require surgery. It’s a “fairly routine procedure” but it’s still surgery and it still freaks me out.

I might need surgery on my ankle, which means I have to change my education plans yet again. Ankle surgery would make it too hard to go to school 45 min away. Honestly, my bigger issue here is the changing education plans again. The idea of surgery does worry me a bit but I’m more concerned with how is going to affect my ability to function on a daily basis that anything else.

The kids have been pretty good lately. There’s been some petty stuff, but they’re kids, so it’s to be expected. I’m just glad they’re all happy and healthy. Sure, I wish I didn’t have to repeat myself 20 times, but I guess that’s just post of being a parent.

Man, I got off on a tangent there. It’s 3:30 am. The brain is showing no sign of stopping. I really wish I didn’t have things to do on the morning. I’d dug myself with some melatonin and finally pass out. I think I might go get some warm milk… (does that crap even work?)


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