School has started for the semester. This means a few things. The first is that I have more time to be me instead of being mom. It also means that all that time will be spent pouring over books, preparing for quizzes, and generally trying to fill my brain until it either A) explodes outwardly with great force or B) implodes and I wind up rocking in the fetal position in a corner somewhere. I’m hoping for option B. It’s a lot less messy.
Good news is, I’m still in beginning of the semester bliss mode. I feel on top of the world and like nothing can stop me. It’s nice to feel this way, but the realistic side of me knows it’s not going to last. That’s for future Amanda to worry about. For now, I’m hoping to ride this bliss wave until at least mid semester.
The kids are all back in school now, too. I can’t believe that we have a high schooler, two middle schoolers, and only two left in elementary school. I feel older this semester than I ever have. Maybe it’s because of the kids. Maybe the fact that I’m 30 is finally setting in. Or maybe I’m just a crotchety old lady who refuses to resign herself to the fact that her eldest child will be in college in a couple years. I swear though, some of these incoming freshman look younger than her. I’m not even old enough to feel this old. Or maybe I’m just in denial.
The BF’s even looking to go back to school. He’s been getting info on a local online school that’s very well known. It seems academia is in the air.
Oh and love. Love is in the air too. I just had a cousin get married and another one get engaged all on the same day. It was so sweet. When I was telling my friend about it, she asked me if I elbowed the BF and asked where my ring was. It would be nice to get a ring eventually, but I’m in no big rush. We have a lot of things to accomplish before we can walk down an aisle together and I really want to do things right this time.
Speaking of my first marriage, it would have been 13 years yesterday. Now don’t get all sad and apologetic. I spent yesterday wishing I felt better (I just got over a nasty flu) so I could celebrate the fact that I’m not with him. I will say one thing about that relationship (aside from the fact that I’m glad he’s gone) it taught me a lot. I’ve learned so much about myself as a person. I know how strong I am. I know where my weaknesses lie. I learned what I want out of life. Because of that failed marriage, I know what I want out of my next one. I know what I will and won’t deal with. Most of all, I learned never say never because sometimes, walking away is the best thing you can do.