Tag Archive | children

We’re Going West, My Friends

Family trips can be a huge source of stress for me. The planning, packing for 7 people, securing hotels, car, transportation and everything else that goes with it is just exhausting. Not to mention that the change in sleep cycles and routines can really do a number on my mental health.

All that being said, guess what I’m in the midst of doing. Planning a vacation. I’ve actually reached the point where I’m beginning to pack. I have a mere 4 days until we depart. Even though I’ve been planning this for months, I feel like I’m drowning in to-do lists.

Part of this is self imposed. I want the house spotless before we leave. There’s nothing worse than coming home to a messy house after vacation. So I’ve got everyone on cleaning detail. This is creating more headaches than its helping at the moment though. The kids are rebelling. They’ve put together a list of demands that they insist must be met before they will continue in their work. I don’t negotiate with terrorists, no matter how cute they may be, so it seems we’re at a standoff.

I wanted to buy small travel pillows. We’re taking the train there and flying back, so I need something small we can cram into a bag on the way home. After looking at my options, I decided it would be cheaper to make my own. It was cheaper to buy the materials. Now, being that I have no time to make these things, I just need to find a bunch of little mice to sew them up for me. I wonder if Cinderella’s little friends would be up for it…

I also got the great idea to make these felt Mr. Potato Heads to keep the kids busy on the 2 day train ride. They’re so cute and compact, and even a couple the older girls wanted to have one. I started those two weeks ago. Guess who’s still not done. Oh well. At least I only need to cut out the accessories.

I have 3 1/2 people packed, clothes-wise. That’s half way done! Woo hoo! It also means I have 3 1/2 more people to pack. Okay, fine, it’s more like after the half is done I only need to pack for myself. Knowing the eldest and the boyfriend, I’ll have to double check bags though.

The eldest will pack too much, as teenage girls often do. She recently went on a week long trip and took two bags for herself. I’ve been packing everyone else’s clothes two people to one duffle bag. I don’t mess around when it comes to packing.

The boyfriend will do the opposite. He tried to argue that one pair of shorts would be enough for a 10 day trip. Yeah… um no. I’m sure he’ll forget something important too, like his underwear. I’m not sure I ever met a man who was good at packing.

Despite all this chaos (or maybe because of it) I’m really looking forward to this vacation. We’ll be spending time with the boyfriend’s friends and family, we’ll see some beautiful scenery, including waterfalls, which I’m psyched about. I know that it will be a great time. It’s just the preparing stage that makes me bonkers. Then it should be all good… until it’s time to come home and unpack it all, that is.

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Whining from the First World

Date night. An all important part of any relationship. Just the two of us, away from the kids, enjoying each other’s company. I look forward to these times.

With all the chaos that has befallen us, date night has ceased to exist. This is completely unacceptable. So I did what any self-respecting woman would do. I threw a temper tantrum. I kicked, screamed, whined, and complained until my boyfriend was ready to fully submit to my will and agree to a whole weekend for just us. Or maybe I asked nicely and he said yes without having to be beaten into submission. Believe what you will…

Anywho, this weekend getaway is fast approaching. It begins exactly one week from tomorrow, actually. Woo hoo for us!

Problem is, we still don’t know where to go. We’ve tossed around a few ideas, but nothing seems to have stuck. One second, I’m all about finding a nice cabin far away from it all where we can just enjoy each other’s company and take in some natural beauty. The next, I want to plan a million things in that one weekend because I don’t know when this will happen again.

Sigh. First world problems are sooo hard to deal with. Sometimes, I yearn for a simpler life where all I need to worry about is when I will eat again or if the water I’m drinking is clean or not. Man, that would be the life.. *crap! I misplaced my sarcasm font again!*

The Chaos Continues

Almost midnight. My insides are all mixed up, turned upside down on themselves. These past weeks have been as crazy as the ones before. It seems out never slows down these days. The chaos never ends.

Doctors are pretty useless these days. In my case and my daughter’s. I keep trying to get a hold of my psychiatrist, leaving messages and never getting a return call. Maybe I should stop calling at midnight and deal with it during office hours, but I can never remember. Then, a whole slew of doctors still don’t know what’s wrong with my kid and she’s getting worse. I’m lost beyond lost.

The rest of my children seem to think that it’s a good time to act up and get in trouble. One is so sassy that I’ve been getting reports from school saying they’re having major issues there too.

School it’s barely hanging on by a thread. I’m still in two classes, but even that’s proving to be a struggle. I’ve decided to take a break from the English degree for a year while I get my massage therapy licence. It will be nice to make some money while going to school.

All in all, I can safely say I’m not sure how I haven’t lost it yet. I’m close to it, especially these past few days. I can feel the anger building up inside me. When I’m not angry, I’m depressed. Seems I’m always on the verge of tears these days. My thoughts are racing and all I can seem to think is negatively. This is the most wicked mixed episode I’ve had in a long while. I just hope I can keep it together through this…

Which End Up?

These past weeks have been trying to say the very least. I’ve hit a low that is unlike any other I’ve experienced before. It’s uniqueness stems from the fact that I have much to be happy about while I am curled into the fetal position crying about what is going wrong. I swear, my life is more bipolar than I am right now.

My grandfather passed away. He was 89. He lived a long and wonderful life and for that, I’m happy. But the way he passed away is something I cannot be okay with. He was hit by a car and then spent the next 3 days in the hospital before passing away. Yes, he was 89, but the man was in great health and still sharp as a tack. He could have easily seen 100 if this accident hadn’t happened. Yes, it was an accident. Little old lady hit the gas instead of the brakes. I plan on writing a beautiful piece about him some day, but right now, I just don’t have it in me. I think the pain is too fresh.

Less than a week before this occurred, my mom was in the hospital for a suspected heart attack. She’s been in to see specialist after specialist now and will be having a cardiac catheter done this week. I’m really worried about her. She’s only 52.

My eldest is having so many health issues it’s not funny. I can’t even remember how many times I’ve taken her to the doctor in the past few weeks. After taking her to the ER the other night, she experienced not one, but two allergic reactions medications they gave her. Now, she can barely walk and the only thing we can do is wait. If she’s not improved by tomorrow, it’s another trip to the doctor for us.

The younger kids have been having some emotional issues due to my grandpas passing and that is presenting in their behavior. Trying to balance all that is becoming pretty tiresome.

School is one of those things I’m holding tight to right now because it helps me focus on something positive, but I’ve been so busy at home, doing my homework is becoming more and more difficult and now I need to drop a class I really like due to attendance.

I haven’t had time to decompress from anything lately except for a night with friends and a date night. My sewing machine is collecting dust, my craft box has been untouched, my books are collecting dust and I haven’t written for pleasure in ages.

All of this makes my heart hurt. There is a literal, physical pain in me right now. I want to fall apart for a million reasons, but I trudge on. My tank is on empty. I NEED things to start looking up and fast or I’m not sure where I’m going to end up with all this.

The good thing about these past few weeks is that my family seems more supportive and closer. I hope this will last. My boyfriend has been his amazing, supportive, helpful self through all of this and I truly believe that if it wasn’t for him, I’d be in a much darker place right now. He really does help keep me strong. I’ve had a chance to spend a lot of time with my eldest, but I wish she were feeling better so we could enjoy it even more.

I also FINALLY got a minivan yesterday, after needing one for ages. I’m so glad that’s out of the way. It’s pretty and it’s red. I never thought I’d own a red car, but this one suits me nicely I think. Plus, beggars can’t be choosers, and the price was right, so… lol. The BF even let me do the haggling and I think I did mighty nice. I managed to talk them down almost 15% from the sticker price! Go me!

So like I said, I’m in a weird place. I have a lot to be happy about, but life also seems to think it’s a good time to throw every type of chaos possible my way. Hopefully things will mellow soon. The optimist in me is getting pretty worn down.

A Belated Valentine’s Rant

I am slacker. Hear me snore! I had this great idea for a blog on Valentines day. I even did a voice to text transcript on my phone while driving to school. Silly me forgot to save said transcript, so sadly, my ramblings were lost. Maybe that’s a good thing though, as my voice to text program sucks. Long story short, I still feel my rant has some post-worthy-ness, so here are my thoughts on Valentines Day.

I don’t celebrate Valentines Day. It’s not because I’m a lonely, bitter person who can’t stand others around me being all lovey-dovey. (I will say that can get a tad nauseating though) I’m also not one of those girls who says they don’t want anything and then gets all worked up when you don’t get her anything. No. I mean it. I don’t celebrate it. I have a few reasons for my Valentine’s grinchy attitude.

My daughter’s birthday is Valentine’s day. Anyone who has a birthday on or near a large gift giving holiday will tell you that their birthday seems a bit forgotten at times. Just ask my eldest. The poor child was born six days before Christmas. I prefer not to give or receive gifts on this day because it may take away from the enjoyment of her birthday.

My birthday is in the same week. Why would I, all old and stuff, need two days of getting gifts so close together? You want to get me a Valentine’s Day gift? Give me a birthday present instead. I’m old, like I said, so I don’t get many of those anymore. Recognizing the day of my birth and marking that with a gift that says, “Hey! You’re special to me!” is just about the most amazing thing to me. Maybe that’s because as an adult, birthday gifts can be as rare as a bigfoot sighting.

Text-speak has completely ruined the holiday. Even IF I wanted to celebrate, I’m not sure I could. Abbreviating things has become so mainstream that nothing is sacred any more. They’ve turned St. Patrick’s Day into St. Paddy’s Day, Christmas into X-Mas, and now Valentines Day has been coined “V-Day”.

Am I alone in being totally creeped out by this? V-Day brings to mind two things for me. Vagina’s and venereal disease. I don’t know about you, but when someone wishes me a “Happy V(enereal disease) Day”, I don’t get that warm, tingly feeling deep inside. If I did, I’d be seeing a doctor.

Happy V(agina) Day isn’t quite as bad, but it still doesn’t evoke feelings of warm tender love to me. I know a woman’s reproductive system is a beautiful thing, but I don’t really need a day devoted to my womanly pieces. Although, I suppose one could argue that women are the main supporters of Valentine’s Day and women usually come equipped with vaginas, but that seems a bit far fetched.

Personally, I feel like Valentine’s Day is closely akin to Sweetest Day. They’re both bullshit. Forgive my French, but it’s true. If you love someone, why do you need two days a year to remind you that you need to show them that. True love happens all year round. I’d rather have someone surprise me on a random day of the year with special tokens of their affection than get a generic gift on a generic holiday. If it’s spontaneous, it means more to me than any mass produced trinket you can get for Valentine’s Day.

I am lucky enough to be with someone who understands this and practices this. He once bought my lilies (my favorite flower) on HIS birthday because he figured it would be the day I would least expect it. He does little things for me every day, from the dishes to foot rubs while we watch TV. Every once in a while, he knocks my socks off with a special gift or night out. The point is, he shows me every day that he loves me in about a million ways. I am so spoiled and beyond lucky. My only hope is that I show him how much he means to me even half as well as he does with me.

Happy Crappy Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. Yay, right? Meh, not so much.

Sunday, my mom went into the hospital with a suspected heart attack. Terrified doesn’t even cover it. To make matters worse, she went to the same hospital where my dad died… of a heart attack. Thankfully, mom is home now and on the mend, but the emotions that were stirred up are still very present. I’m glad she didn’t leave us because that would have made my birthday that much crappier.

Being that I was so worried about my mom, focusing on homework proved pretty much impossible. Anxiety began to kick in ever time I picked up a book. I did manage to get a few things done, but with the load of work I had, it barely made a dent.

Don’t get me wrong, my birthday wasn’t all bad. My wonderful kiddos made me birthday cards and helped around the house and my boyfriend brought home a turtle ice cream cake. The boyfriend and I also had some time to snuggle and talk, which is always great. The day was difficult because my eldest was really sick. She got hit with the worst stomach flu I’ve ever seen. We were worried that maybe she may have severe food poisoning, so I called the answering service. They recommended that we take her, guess where. That’s right. The ER.

Everything checked out okay, so we were able to go home. She’s still really ill and I feel horrible for being at school while she’s home sick like this. I know she’s a “big girl” and can take care of herself, but I still feel bad.

I have the flu now as well. Not the stomach bug, bug the good, old fashioned flu. To top off my misery, I fell on ice when leaving for school today. Hurray for crappy days.

Advice from the Alphabet

I came across a writing prompt that encourages people to use each letter of the alphabet to write a piece of advice. Always up for a challenge, I decided I’d give it a shot. Here’s what I came up with. I hope you all enjoy. (Please forgive X, Y, and Z. They were harder than I thought.)

Ask questions

Bask in the sun

Connect with those who uplift you

Dance like no one’s watching

Expect the unexpected

Find beauty in all things

Giggle often

Hold your head high always

Ignite the passions within

Jump for joy

Kill ’em with kindness

Love like you won’t be hurt

Make time for those you love

Never give up on your dreams

Open you mind and heart

Practice patience

Quitting is not an option

Reach out and help someone

Slow down and enjoy the little things

Think before you speak

Understand a different point of view

Vocalize your needs to others

Welcome change

eXpand your horizions

Yolo

Zen